Masculine Mandate: God’s Calling for Men

By Dr. Richard Phillips

Chapter 7 - Marriage Cursed and Redeemed

Dr. Phillips teaches how sin corrupted what was good.  Yet, through Christ, marriages can have renewed hope and redemption.  He says, “God has cursed the marriage relationship with a poisonous desire for control by the woman and a self-absorbed focus outside the relationship by the man.”  The good news is that the Christian couple who are forgiven and sanctified by God through Christ, are able to show compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience toward one another.

The account in Genesis 3 is not a happy story. It is the curse of sin that fell on men and women in the garden that makes marriage challenging and painful at times. Sin’s curse is the best explanation for the skyrocketing divorce rate in society even among Christians. Notice that Satan’s first attack was on marriage. Satan’s clever attack on marriage put Adam in a quandary: He thought he had to choose between the women (the gift from God) and God (the gift Giver). He thought refusing the fruit from his wife was rejecting her in favor of God and accepting the fruit meant a rejection of God in favor of his wife. Adam’s assessment was only half right. By choosing to sin with his wife he walked into Satan’s trap of choosing the gift over the Giver. 

In order to deal with sin effectively we must face it clearly. The first thing we see is sin immediately begins to ruin the intimate relationship God created. Only through the twin graces of forgiveness and repentance can we regain much of what was lost, so the unity God intended can be restored. Before sin entered the garden Adam was enjoying the blessing of the woman God created for him, but afterward he blamed and despised Eve. We (men) find it easier to accuse and blame others instead of confessing our sins and it undermines our relationship with God.   

God addresses Eve’s sin first and gives a two-part curse. First, is the pain of childbirth. The second part is conflict or an unhealthy desire to control man and the marriage relationship. Next, God addresses Adam’s sin of disobedience of listening to his wife instead of God. God cursed the ground/garden that Adam was told to work and keep. God’s curse magnifies the effects of sin on our relationships. Sin doesn’t make things different, it makes things more painful.

We see from the beginning God had a plan of redemption and Satan will never succeed. We cannot experience joy and forgiveness apart from submission to God’s authority. The struggles we experience are meant to drive us to our knees in repentance, seeking forgiveness and restoring God to His rightful place in our lives. After the curses, we see God’s redemptive plan of grace by clothing Adam and Eve with spotless, innocent animals, a foreshadowing of the atoning work of Jesus, the Lamb of God, dying on the cross for our sins. Being loved, forgiven and sanctified by God through Jesus we are able to have compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience with others especially our spouses. (Colossians 3:12)